The Astroid Times

Issue #1

Dec 12 - Feb 10 2026 / 5ᘜ
News for when you're gone

"The Astroid Times" is becoming "The Lonely Times"
as a certain heart-throb leaves town!

Who could this heart-throb be and what does this mean for the residents of Astroidville??
Like it was said in the prophecy "The guy who didn't like musicals": "PROMISE ME YOU'LL THINK OF THE IMPLACATIONS!!"


Citizens ask what this bad news means for future!

Is the end nigh? Will the people survive this harsh blow? or is this our last gasp?

Continued on page 2.


What have the people of Astroidville been up to now that their so called "Heart-throb" has left town?

Despite the recent tradgedy
it seems like the citizens of Astroidville are doing somewhat okay!
Read more about what exactly these fine people are up to

Continue on pg 2

Who knew Gregory Croso's writing could be so enchanting?

Don't take her to movies but to cemeteries
tell all about werewolf bathtubs & forked clarinets

Read his poem and see why it brings such delight to the people of Astroidville in the next issue


All this and more in this issue of The Astroid Times


The Astroid Times


Page 2
Issue #1

Continued from front page.

Citizens ask what this bad news means for future!

Morale is low and can't be seen increasing anytime soon. The forcast for this upcoming month is sad with a chance of crying. Citizens say they are in dire need of cuddles for this city to get back on track.


Continued from front page.

Since the Heart-throb dissapeared:

In other news: What have the people of Astroidville been up to since the so called Heart-Throb left town?

Surprisingly they have survived!! Though much damage has occured, affecting all residents, they seem intent on acclimatising to this new way of living until their cherished partner returns.

  • An increase in reading has been noticed after the long awaited "From russia with love" was finally closed and put back on the shelf
  • Physical health has become more of a priority in Astroidsville with many residents getting up earlier, stretching and having breakfast every morning!
  • Meditation is back on the map and considered the new cool in Astroidville with many meditating for a mesley 1 minute to a whooping 10 minutes per day!

The image used in this article is
Luncheon of the Boating Party by Pierre-August Renoir, 1881
I first took a liking to this painting when i saw it in july of 2024 in an email newsletter of all places.
I'm signed up for 'Odysseas's' newsletter "The Fountain" and this painting was included in his second mini-essay called "Diet is Bedrock"


Here are some highlights i liked from
"Diet is Bedrock"

The online health space is one of the most toxic corners of the internet, and I'd rather stay out.
There's gurus.
There's grifters.
There's emotions.
It’s a mess, so why do I join the rabble?
First, diet matters because it can ruin your hobbies, crafts and passions or lift you up in them.
You already pour in a great deal of care and effort, so I’d hate to see something as basic as food get in the way of your fulfilment.


Fast forward an hour and I'm sitting under harsh white light in a room as clinical as you can expect from a modern campus building.
And so the exam begins.
And so does the brain fog.
Oh God, the brain fog.
These questions weren't too tricky. Some basic math and a surface knowledge of subsidies would have you flying through.
And yet it was the hardest test I ever took.
My eyes gloss over the words, dead and dissociated.
My head feels like a potato masher ran through it.
And my logic now rivals an orangutan. (AL here, this line made me giggle)
The culprit is obvious.
I’ve never had a sugar crash this awful.

As the rest of the world follows the West in wealth and abundance, ultra-processed food catches the door and creeps into their supermarket shelves.
It’s everyone’s problem now, and too simple a fix to let it sabotage your creativity.

It’s the bedrock of your creative life. Screw up the fundamentals, and everything else topples in its wake.
Eat what your ancestors would have recognised as food.
And save some room for sweet treats along the way, obviously.
You'll do yourself good, and avoid the lethargy which kills your drive forward.
To your delicious next meal,
Odysseas

The Astroid Times


ISSUE #2 / 5ᘜ
News for when you're gone